It is widely believe that there are three distinct levels of listening:
Level 1 focuses on your own personal thoughts. You can't be fully engaged because you have your own voice in your head wanting to chime in, or you're focused too much on your next question.
Level 2 focuses on fully understanding the other person. The voice in your own head is quiet so you can truly understand what the other person has said.
Level 3 focuses on the energy around you - what are people feeling instead of saying? How is this impacting what is being said (or not being said)?
As I continue to learn and practice being an effective coach, I'm realizing that listening at levels 2 and 3 are going to be incredibly important, and it's a larger area of opportunity for me than I ever anticipated. I need to focus on words, body language, perspectives, and patterns in order help my client move toward their goals. This needs to happen consistently, and over several sessions, which means I must remain diligent in staying present and asking open ended questions that allow my clients to speak and feel heard.
In my practice, I'm going to continue focusing on my natural urge to help, fix, and teach, and become more comfortable with listening, silence, and simple questions. This is going to be uncomfortable for me, however, it will lead to greater outcomes for my clients, which is the ultimate goal.
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